A beverage that is highly sought after and extremely expensive? A derogatory term for said beverage? Being beaten on the bottom with a canvas?

You choose. No, I mean it, you really do choose. In this most eccentric of exhibitions now showing at The New, New Gallery, St Ives, you can, quite literally choose your poison, frisson or particular fetish. This exhibition very much takes as its theme the idea of prostituting oneself for one’s Art and gives people the opportunity to do just that.
Controversial from start to finish, and even those terms are rather weasel words for the exotic scenarios that assault the ears on entering the gallery, this exhibition is a WOW! or very possibly, an OW! with the public.

Rooms are set aside for each exhibit and it is hard to see where the idea of a seedy Chicago Night Club ends and an Art Gallery begins – in fact it is difficult to see where anything ends and begins. You literally pay your money and make your choice.

The New, New Gallery may well be rueing the day it agreed to mount – every word tells a story – this new exhibition as many of the public, having paid exorbitant amounts for a ticket do choose very expensive poisons/frissons/fetishes indeed and streams of delivery vans from Harrods, Paxton and Whitfield, Dior, Rigby and Pellor, Vaseline, Swarfega and many more arrive at the front door and disgorge baskets and baskets of costly merchandise as hordes of highly paid cleaners stream in and out of the back door doing a lot of giggling.
And the Artist responsible for all this? Marcel Frottage, the transgender leader of the New Exhibitionist Movement is saying very little and doing even less. The press have declared that he has been gagged to ramp up the publicity – or something – although a Police Van appeared to deliver a number of items before the start of the exhibition.

Whatever Frottage is doing, he is doing it very quietly and in the privacy of his own Premier Suite in the lower gallery of the building.

After New Exhibitionist Art, where can the art world go next? Where can we go for honey? (Actually, I think I can see some being delivered now.) Man Ray, Manuka? You choose. Personally, I think I need a very long walk in the fresh air.

Maxine Flaneuse de Cornouaill

Volume 32 no 4 March/April 2018 p 35

21 thoughts on “ArtWallop

  1. Hi Maxine,
    Your review of Marcel Frottage left me a bit confused, but at the same time curious to know more, so I guess you’ve made your point.

  2. So supposing it’s a review of a non-existent gallery and of a non-existent artist, where does that leave us readers?

    1. Cheated? Deluded? Deceived? No, none of these. What a brilliant piece! When is the next episode?

    2. The second-hand experience of an illusion? A fake? Age old, age old, is a really fabulous fake Van Gogh no longer fabulous when it is exposed? As to Artwallop… What am I saying? Of course it’s real. I was there, wasn’t I? Wasn’t I?

  3. What a great satire; you really took us for a ride. However, I thoroughly enjoyed this work of ingenuity, as it is truly a work of art. It has made me think, is art an illusion? Is it what we perceive, or are we conditioned by what we are told and taught to perceive, muddling our own perceptions of what is worthwhile and not? And yes, “where can the world go next?” We all follow what we’re told to follow, what the press tells us is good, and here you have incited our curiosity to know more about what is actually nothing, but we love it all the same. Is this art?

    1. Hi Peter,

      What do you think of this fashionwallop? Women are buying “jeans” that are just an illusion of jeans; they are all cut out, just leaving the outlines of a pair of jeans. Are we supposed to perceive a pair of jeans or a pair of legs? I think that the fashion designer, Kendall Jenner, must be laughing at her success and of the public latching on to this new or empty look. Next we will see a further assortment of fashion illusion cut outs with socks, skirts, blouses and dresses, and of course, why not hats to accompany the total look? Soon to follow with cut out men’s wear!


      1. Do you suppose the jeans are cut out in some third world country, exploiting children for the cutting or do you think (or know) if she employs local talent? Looking forward to the open air menswear!!

      2. Fashionwallop? Should we be mentioning An Emperor and some New Clothes or just admitting that there is nothing New Under the Sun? Wallopwallop?

  4. This was a very well crafted article, though I wonder how many people understood the satire considering the international audience New Art Examiner has with English being read as their second language. It would be nice if some of these articles could also be in Spanish, French or Chinese.

  5. When I post my comment, it says ‘Your comment is awaiting moderation.’ Oh, I do hope not!

  6. What a powerful and fun review! I thoroughly enjoyed it and think it’s time we took life less seriously – time we started having fun again. Thank you for this glimpse into an unforgettable exhibition, however unreal it is – it doesn’t matter. You created the effect; I fell for it, but then realized what had really taken place or better, had not taken place, was only a fantastic illusion.

  7. What about the illusions of words? You have just proved how words that are apparently concrete compared to images that can be interpreted in many different ways, are not necessarily so. You created an amazing imagery through your illusion of words, while enhancing our imagined visual experience. This was a lovely provocation on the artificiality of the art world and on how ridiculous some artists’ exhibitions are, all in the name of art.

    1. It just goes to show how a gallery can create an artist from nothing – there are so many illusions of art out there, illusions that cost a small fortune to buy.

  8. Dear Maxine,

    You have left my wife and me very curious to read your next article. We are really looking forward to it and love your writing.

    Kind regards,
    Walter and Nicolette

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